What Is a Yoni Massage, and Can It Save Your Relationship?

Let’s face it. After the initial honeymoon period, your sex life can quickly grow stale. Or you just may wonder if there are deeper pleasures to be had. The good news is that there are many ways to add heat to your love life—and yoni massage is a great place to start.

You’ve likely heard of tantric sex but maybe not yoni massage. Yoni massage, which is also called yonic massage, is a form of tantric sex that focuses on female pleasure.

It is a full body massage that zeros in on the breasts, stomach, vaginal area, and other erogenous zones. The goal is to create pleasure but also to enhance spirituality, connection, body awareness, sensual energy, and intimacy.

In this comprehensive guide, learn more about the beauty of yoni massage and how to give one—to yourself or a partner.

What Is Yoni Massage?

Smiling woman laying on bed with man

Yoni massage is a type of ancient tantric practice that goes back centuries. This sacred ritual is a unique way to honor, explore, and deepen sexual and spiritual awareness and acceptance for women. 

Yoni means vulva or vagina in Sanskrit and is also representative of procreation. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, yoni is “a stylized representation of the female genitalia that in Hinduism is a sign of generative power and that symbolizes the goddess Shakti.”

In yonic massage, the female body takes center stage. And while this tantric sex technique does ultimately focus on stimulating the sex organs, the entire body may be pampered, touched, and explored during each session. Yoni massage can be a part of a larger tantric sex encounter or can be done on its own. 

This erotic massage can be performed to one’s self or by a partner. Either way, yonic massage is a great way to develop intimacy and connection and enhance physical, spiritual, and sensual awareness. Essentially, you’ll discover more about your mind, body, heart, and spirit as you receive (or give) this massage.

Benefits of Doing Yoni Massage

Silhouette of couple holding each other gazing into eyes at sunset by Oziel Gomez on Unsplash
(Photo by Oziel Gómez on Unsplash)

There are many benefits of yoni massage. These include bringing pleasure to the recipient of the massage and offering an excellent bonding and intimacy-building experience for couples. Receiving and giving a yoni massage can be a sacred, deeply personal act. Both people learn about themselves, their desires, and what their bodies can do and feel. Adding yoni massage into your relationship can enhance other areas of your romance and sex life, too, boosting libido, maximizing pleasure, and cultivating connection.

Additionally, yonic massage can be very healing. People with body image or self esteem issues often find yonic massage to be therapeutic. They may leave the experience feeling renewed awe and appreciation for their body and for themselves as a person. Those who have suffered trauma or sexual assault may also find solace in yonic massage when performed by a loving, responsive, and respectful partner.

How to Do Yoni Massage


First, know that there is not just one way to do a yoni massage. Rather, there is an overall principle or approach to use as a guide. You can tailor this structure to the people receiving and giving the massage. So, the exact approach and techniques used will naturally vary based on personal preferences and what you’re in the mood for. 

Essentially, the good news is that you can do a yoni massage however you want. The key is that what you are doing should feel good to the recipient. So, aim to be responsive to their body (and your own) and follow their pleasure.

That said, there are general methods that you can start with to use as the basis for your yoni massage sessions. Once you try these techniques, you can feel free to personalize them to suit your needs and desires.

Yoni Massage Tips for Beginners

Happy couple cuddling in bed

Set aside a block of uninterrupted time and set the tone by selecting a private, comfortable, safe space for your yoni massage. Discuss with your partner what your expectations and desires are for the experience. Talk about anything you hope will transpire and anything you want to avoid. 

For example, are there areas of your body that you would like to have more or less attention? Do you want penetration to occur during the massage? Do you want anal or nipple stimulation? Are you hoping to achieve one or more orgasms? Whatever it is that you are hoping for, letting your partner know will help enhance the experience for both of you.

However, it’s also perfectly fine if you don’t know what you want yet. You can simply ask your partner to try out various touches and techniques. Then, you can let them know (verbally or via your physical response) what you like, don’t like, want more of, or less of. You can also touch yourself as they touch you. You can guide their hands, mouth, penis, vagina, or other body parts to your liking. 

Remember, this is no time to be shy. A yoni massage is all about exploring, surrendering, empowering, and ravishing your body with pleasure and sensuality. So, focus on what you are feeling, follow what feels good, ask for what you want, and relish the experience.

Step-By-Step Guide to Yoni Massage

woman in lingerie resting with eyes closed

Rather than following a set of prescribed steps, yonic massage can and should be a time of exploration. However, to get you started, here’s a basic template and principles on how to begin doing yonic massage.

Tantric sex is all about going slow and slowly building up pleasure. So, when desire tells you to speed up, use your willpower to put on the breaks. This slowing down builds sexual tension, heightening eroticism, longing, and pleasure. When and if an orgasm (or many) happens, it will likely be much stronger due to this teasing push and pull of getting right up to the edge of orgasm, and then backing off before slowing working your way up to the height of pleasure again and again.

You may begin clothed or unclothed, eventually removing any clothing. Use rhythmic breathing and mindfulness to stay present and focused on sensation. Let what feels good be your guide. Let go of expectations, goals, and judgment. Simply be, feel, and experience.

Eye contact helps to build connection and trust between partners—and keeps you in the moment and in the body. Synchronizing your breathing also cultivates intimacy and builds awareness of the physical self.

Start with long gentle strokes to the body. Vary the intensity, pressure, and movement of touch. Consider the whole body as a sensual organ. Touch the belly, breasts, arms, head, hands, legs, feet first. Move toward the genital area but take your time, getting close or lightly stroking the vaginal area then backing off again.

Pay special attention to the belly and breasts to awaken sexual energy. Then, begin slowly working around and in the vagina. Use a variety of touches to the clitoris, gently pushing and pulling, teasing, tapping, encircling, and rubbing back and forth. Touch the lips of the vulva. 

Consider using your mouth as well as your fingers to stimulate their body. Then, if mutually desired, slowly enter the vagina, again using your hands, mouth, or penis. Move in and out, exploring gently, building sensation and desire. 

People often end a session by achieving multiple orgasms and/or having sexual intercourse, but those elements are purely optional. Ultimately, you can include whatever you’d like in your yoni massage. All that matters is what feels good to both partners.

Effort and Courage Goes a Long Way

couple kissing

Yoni massage is a sacred tantric sex practice that celebrates female sexuality and brings couples together. Experimenting with yoni massage is a great way to jumpstart your sex life, explore your sexuality, and get closer to your partner. Many people describe yonic massage as transcendent, even life and romance altering.

All it takes is an hour or two, a quiet, private space, curitiosity, and a trusted, enthusiastic partner. The experience is sure to be out of this world. And take your relationship—and sexual connection—to new heights.


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