• Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • DMCA
Saturday, January 28, 2023
TheGreatNews.com
  • Home
  • MINDSET
  • WELL BEING
  • POSITIVE NEWS
  • WISDOM
  • PURPOSE
  • NEW TECHNOLOGIES
  • More Topics
    • ENTREPRENEUR
    • GREEN ENERGIES
    • SUCCESS
    • GOOD LIFE
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • MINDSET
  • WELL BEING
  • POSITIVE NEWS
  • WISDOM
  • PURPOSE
  • NEW TECHNOLOGIES
  • More Topics
    • ENTREPRENEUR
    • GREEN ENERGIES
    • SUCCESS
    • GOOD LIFE
No Result
View All Result
TheGreatNews.com
No Result
View All Result

Terrence Real’s Latest Book Explores Fixing What Ails Us

in WELL BEING
Reading Time: 3 mins read
A A
Terrence Real’s Latest Book Explores Fixing What Ails Us
Share Share Share Share Share

Related articles

“Life Insurance and its Impact on Overall Well-being”

Examining the Potential Health Hazards of Blood and Organ Transplants

I call this the mysticism of marriage. There may be super placid couples who aren’t terribly intimate, and they don’t bug each other. But usually there are three phases of love: harmony, disharmony and repair. Those phases can occur 20 times during one dinner conversation or span over decades of your marriage or long-term relationship. The harmony phase is love without knowledge. You may have a soul recognition that this is your guy. But you don’t know what he does with his socks in the morning.

The disillusionment phase is critical. It’s the stuff of intimacy. It’s the collision of your imperfections and how we handle it. Our culture doesn’t equip people to deal with that disillusionment. It’s rough. It’s dark. I’ve run around the country for 20 years, talking about what I call “normal marital hatred” and not one person has ever come backstage to ask what I meant by that.

As for repair, you write a lot about what that can look like, including with some lines that would be good refrigerator magnets for couples: “I’m sorry you felt bad. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. Is there anything I can do now that would help you feel better?” That word “now” feels key.

Right. You can’t do anything about the past. The question is, What can I do right now to bring you back into harmony with me? And it’s in my interest to bring you back into harmony with me because I’m here — I live with you. I don’t talk about altruism. I talk about enlightened self-interest.

How do we fail at repairing?

When your partner is in state of disrepair, it’s a one-way street. Everybody gets this wrong. It’s not supposed to be, “Well, these are your issues, here are mine.” When your partner is in disrepair, it’s like you are working at the customer-service window. Your partner says, “I want a new microwave.” They don’t want to hear that your toaster doesn’t work. They want you to fix their microwave. Later on, we can hear about your issue, but not then. The question of who’s right and who’s wrong is irrelevant. What matters is how we, as a team, are going to make this work for both of us. That’s thinking relationally.

You note that it can take two to five years of work for couples to develop a healthier, more intimate relationship. What does that look like?

It looks like damn hard work. It’s moment to moment. When my automatic reactivity is flooding over me, am I going to act it out, or am I going to take a break, take a walk, splash some water on my face, talk to my little boy inside me, do some meditation, get centered in that part of you that wants to make repair? And, in that moment, we can literally change the legacy. People talk about the American dream, in which your kids have a better life than you do. And we always think about it materialistically. But I think about it psychologically and spiritually — changing the legacy of how you were raised and handing your kids a new default that is kinder and more humane and wiser.

Credit: Source link

ShareTweetSendPinShare
Previous Post

Plant From a Single Seed is Now 77 Sq-Miles Wide and World’s Largest

Next Post

What Are Your Unwritten Rules of Driving Etiquette?

Related Posts

insurance

“Life Insurance and its Impact on Overall Well-being”

January 24, 2023

Life insurance is a financial product that provides financial protection to an individual's loved ones in the event of their death. It is an important aspect...

Examining the Potential Health Hazards of Blood and Organ Transplants

Examining the Potential Health Hazards of Blood and Organ Transplants

January 17, 2023

Transplants are touted as a life-saving procedure, but what are the potential health hazards of blood and organ transplants? Studies have shown that blood and organ...

Vital Role of Female Hygiene” Maintaining Health and Well-Being”

Vital Role of Female Hygiene” Maintaining Health and Well-Being”

January 3, 2023

There is no question that women have a vital role in maintaining optimal health and well-being. The female body is uniquely equipped to deal with many...

Hearing Aids Will Soon Be Sold Over the Counter. Here’s What You Need to Know.

Hearing Aids Will Soon Be Sold Over the Counter. Here’s What You Need to Know.

August 16, 2022

As many as 30 million Americans have some trouble hearing, but few can afford to pay for doctors’ exams and prescription hearing aids — and most...

Polio May Have Been Spreading in New York Since April

Polio May Have Been Spreading in New York Since April

August 16, 2022

Polio may have been circulating widely for a year, and was present in New York’s wastewater as early as April, according to a new report from...

Next Post
What Are Your Unwritten Rules of Driving Etiquette?

What Are Your Unwritten Rules of Driving Etiquette?

Apple iOS 16 previewed at WWDC 2022

Apple iOS 16 previewed at WWDC 2022

Punctuality Is Having a Moment

Punctuality Is Having a Moment

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Weekly Updates

insurance

“Life Insurance and its Impact on Overall Well-being”

January 24, 2023
TheGreatNews.com

This is an online news portal that aims to provide the latest updates about mindset, well being, positive news, wisdom, purpose, new technologies, entrepreneur, green energy, success, good life and stuff like that around the world. Feel free to get in touch with us!

© 2021 - TheGreatNews.com - All rights reserved!

  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • DMCA
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • MINDSET
  • WELL BEING
  • POSITIVE NEWS
  • WISDOM
  • PURPOSE
  • NEW TECHNOLOGIES
  • More Topics
    • ENTREPRENEUR
    • GREEN ENERGIES
    • SUCCESS
    • GOOD LIFE

© 2021 - TheGreatNews.com - All rights reserved!